Took a double dose of my oxazepam so I'd sleep and it barely worked....but did sleep enough.  Woke up wishing that basically i had died in my sleep....obviously no such luck.  I know I should be turning to God and reading the Bible and all that...but I don't even have it in me to bother.  I just don't really care.  It's all i can do to even write here.  I have my appointment with my therapist tonight but I don't know if I want to bother....she's just going to tell me to read Ephesions 6 and I'm tired of hearing about the armour of God...I don't want to even bother anymore.  Tomorrow is dermatology and I wouldnt bother with that either except it takes 6 weeks to get in there...and they need at least 24 hours notice of cancelation and is less then 24 hours away so no choice about that one.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  Whatever.