Not feeling so good today.  Not sure what my problem is.  Feeling urges today to cut and I don't know why...feeling anxious today and I don't know why.  I know I had a really hard time waking up today even though I got enough sleep so maybe my body is telling me to have a nap or something.  I don't know.  My psychiatrist called this morning to give me the heads up she's got a cold that is probably quite contagious at the moment and that if I wanted we could reschedule.  At that point I wasn't feeling the anxiety or urges then so I decided that it was best to reschedule.  No sense intentionally exposing myself to things if I don't have to...already done that enough in the past week with the ER visits and I really don't need/want to get sick with anything else any time soon.  Got enough stuff without adding that to my plate now too.  Anyway...I'm okay with not having my appointment today...I'm pretty sure that's not why I am feeling anxious.  Might go out to the store with my sister if I am feeling better this afternoon.  She usually doesn't like shopping but said if it clouds over (which is exactly what it's doing right now) that she would like to go.  I don't know if my anxiety can handle her today though (that's sounds awful I know)....but she just doesn't understand it at all and thinks you can just snap out of it.  But I do have a $25 gift card I would like to I may go.  I dunno.  Also my nephew has a birthday on the 17th....any suggestions of what to get a 14 year old boy?  The only things I know he wants is a laptop (way outta my budget, lol) and more text messages per month on his cell phone...and well I know he would always like to receive money but I refuse to give money...although I will resort to gift cards if I have to (at least I would if I had some idea of where he would like to shop or spend money...other then  Or I could just stay home today and if I get some ambition actually work on the cleaning up part of my room.  :S  Well...not much point in writing more in here right now...I'm just kind of babbling and it's taking me forever just to do think I"ve said enough.