my friend is here for a night or two or three... i don't know if i can be here with her every night though...right now i want to give in so bad...i don't care if i live or die...i just want to stop feeling this way... i know that is selfish...i'm trying not to let it show when everyone is around but now that everyone is asleep i need to get it out...i just don't have it in me right now to be going through this and to be a support too... i dunno what to do...