well again as the day went on I feel worse...everything good is making me feel crummy.  My roommate was playing some praise music and I just start feeling so awful.  I'm starting to feel like this whole spiritual warefare battle is going to end up killing me....but i know my God is stronger so I'm doing my best to hang on and have faith even though its the last thing i want to do right now.  No one ended up showing up besides my mom and aunt...we hung out and went for a walk and that's about it but it was nice.  My old support working called to reschedule for later today but that time has come and gone and he never showed up.  Then the guy from yesterday who was suppose to show up to play guitar with my roommate didn't show up either.  What's with people not showing up.  *sigh* I have 2 appts tomorrow so need to take my sleep meds soon and then go to bed.  I'm exhausted...and if I stay up too much later I'm not gonna be able to trust myself...so sleep is the best option. I hate being like this...I want to happy and able to enjoy things again.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I know what you mean I feel the same way sometimes! like today sorda... I\'m praying for you and the best thing you can do is start a new email account and start sending letters to God without reading them. This is what I do especially when I\'m on the computer all the time. But now I write it in my journal cause I have so many empty ones and I make so many of them I thought I\'d start writting in them. Sorry for babbling. But I know how you feel I\"ve been there. IT DOES GET BETTER! it wasn\'t always this bad in the past and it won\'t always be this bad in the future! I love ya!
Rachael HUGS take care plz no cutting!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey sweetie, Things WILL get better, I promise. As a woman who has been & is still in \'recovery\', its no secret that things will sometimes seem worse & even stay worse for a while, but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. It will just be there one day when you least expect it.
Just hang in there & remember that you are not alone. You are loved & so very worth it! :)