I'm finally back at my place but feeling crummy.  It was after 10pm when I got home and I've been fighting the depression since I woke up today.  I am feeling overwhelmed with some things and I'm not sure how to best deal with them.  I don't want to write about them here at this point.  Just that I need to be mindful of how I do deal with them because it doesn't just affect me.  I already feel like I might've lead one person to the wrong road so to speak...and that's not something I take lightly...although I know ultimately what they choose is up to them.  I feel like a magnet for those who are having a hard time...and while I'm not complaining and want to do my best to lift them up and be there for them...I am struggling with it.  I do believe God wants me to be there for others and I know His strength is sufficient....but goodness...I feel like I am not even recovered from the last "test" of faith and now on to another and my head is having a hard time processing.  I know one thing though...I don't want to get stuck so much on my issues that I am not able to help others....I just haven't quite learned how to make that happen yet.  I get stuck on myself so easily.  Anyway I don't want to go on about it too much.  I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed...and am struggling with urges to cut.  Trying not to let them get the best of me though...after all...it's only a few days until my 3 months and I sure would like to be able to celebrate it.  *sigh*  I guess we'll see.  Took my sleepy meds and hoping they will soon kick in.  Have to get up at a decent time tomorrow because I have to go to the dentist.  I guess tomorrows appointment is mainly to investigate some of the sensitivity I am having and rule out if i need a root canal or not.  Lets hope not.