Still hanging out at my parents house and enjoying having my Chloe (kitty) around. As I write this she is laying on my bed making it so I can't stretch out my legs. LOL. Yes, I am laying on my bed but that's because the way the internet is here. If I want to be online I have to either sit on the floor or else on my bed. It's not wireless. :( I slept A LOT last night. I knew I was tired yesterday but goodness that much sleep was just crazy. I got somewhere around 12-14 hours of sleep. It was a little bit broken but not much. The worst thing was though my eyes still didn't want to open after all that sleep. What's with that. Oh well. I woke up feeling better then yesterday...still feeling edgy but not as much as yesterday. So that is good. I spent some time reading my bible before even getting out of bed. I need to be doing that every morning...well not necessarily before getting out of bed...but before getting on with my day...I need that. I almost always feel better if I do. I just wish I wasn't struggling so much with the praying. Why is that so difficult for me? It bothers me that I can somewhat easily spend 5 minutes with someone (although come to think of it...usually there isn't much talking going on) and I have such a hard time spending 5 minutes with God. Maybe the key there isn't so much talking...but time...just spending time together. Hmmm...maybe I should try that. But problem is I still don't really understand how to spend time with Him...I end up daydreaming instead and lost in my thoughts. I sometimes have a hard time with that with people too though...they will be talking and it's just so hard to focus...I spend more time telling my head to shut up so i can listen that I end up missing out on what they are saying anyway. *sigh* One of these days I'll figure it out...somehow... Well...I just remembered I have clothes in the washer and some need to be hung to dry. Better go do that.
Replies
First I think it\'s awesome that you have gone 86 days with out cutting, thats just plane AWESOME! With the whole spending time with the Lord, yes you do need to do it before your feet hit the floor! now I don\'t know that many people that really do that cause I\'m in the bathroom before I know it. ha lol, ummm... the whole daydreaming thing I think it\'s a part of who you are right now with all the drugs, cause I do the same thing. The biggest thing that I have learned for me to stop dreaming and pay attention is to do a mindfullness exercise, kinda like meditating but not. You just stop, breath through your gut hold for one second breath out and let all your thoughts and dreams float by on clouds having no judgements or thoughts about them just let them go. Do this as long as you want usually I\'m \"Grounded in three min somethimes longer. I have clothes in the wash too, got to get going. I love you friend, and again I\'ll try and call soon. Give me ur parents # and I\'ll call soon, unless they don\'t want me to. I love ya! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachael