So far not feeling too bad today...and I'm actually going to be heading out to my parents for the day/night like I've been telling them all week. Besides I desperately need to do laundry and you can't be free laundry..lol. Going to see my angel Chloe (my cat) too. I miss her so much. Well, I need to pack and get out of my pj's as my parents are on their way.
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HI NICOLLE!!!!!!! I just read up on all your jounral entries since the 21st of august cause thats when I got out of the hospital... sigh... All you issues with not having energy or the care to have anything to do with God to pray, read or whatever are all attacks from satan, the closer we get to God the harder and harder he fights to pull us away. I\'ve been through the same thing! I have an accountability group at my church that I can call everyday so I can stay on track. It really helps me stay in the God mood even if I\'m having the crapiest day ever. I suggest you find some chrisitan women that you can be help accountalbe with. I don\'t pray everyday. I also write letters to God cause I\'m a writer and that helps me a lot cause it seem I can get my words and thoughts out better on paper. Maybe that\'s something I can do. But when I\'m really down in the dumps and want to cut of OD I look at my arm where my tattoo is and I think of the verse \"My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.\" it has really helped and at other times I want to cut all over it cuase I get so mad at God sometimes. Look, being a christian is hard work, no one said it would be easy. But it kinda sounds like your doing the best you can and that is all yu can do and that is all the He requires you to do. He loves you SOOOO much you can\'t even comphrend it! Just keep believing in God. One lady shared with me once that there is a difference in believing in God and believing God. think about that one! I miss you my friend! I hope you have a good time with your parents. Things at my moms today are acctually going well I\'m about to lay down and take a short nap. The percocet is kicking in and I\'m really out of it. I\'m praying for you always, plz always remember that when things aren\'t working and you can ALWAYS call or text me. I love you my friend! Have a blessed day. Much love and HUGS!!!!
Rachael