Doing well again.  This entry may or may not end up being short...I'm so sleepy and it's 2am so I should be asleep.  Thankfully I can type with my eyes closed. I got through a difficult Saturday evening in one piece.  I signed onto Second Life the virtual reality I've talked about in past entries.  I talked to one of my friends there and hung out a bit...then asked her to pray for me.  Being on there, despite all the issues going on (I may explain in a future entry), was a blessing and helped lift me out of my rut.  I'm so thankful I have people I can turn to who are Christians who I am able to ask them to pray for me when I am feeling that I can't even do that.  I was up late on there and as a result I missed church Sunday. That wasn't an entirely bad thing though.  I spent some quiet time reading my bible and prayed afterward and got the exact message I needed.  The Lord told me to turn to Ephesians 6:11.  If you read my entry (I think 2 entries back) you will know I've recognized a lot of my issues to be spiritual warfare.  Well anyway, this verse or actually the passage reminded me that I need to put on my armour.  Now I don't know it well enough to quote it right now and I"m much too sleepy to look it up and put it in here but I can tell you that it was exactly the exact message I needed.  If I had gone to church I may not have taken the time to read my bible and pray...so I am not sure if I would've gotten the message...at least not right away.  I did feel a bit confused because I was like I don't know what all the armour looks like yet....so how can I put it on.  But I feel that if He is showing me that verse and giving me that message He will help me find the pieces of my armour so that I can put them on.   Later that evening Mom and I went for a drive.  She wanted to walk along the boardwalk at the waterfront but I just couldn't bring myself to.  There were way too many people and I just felt too anxious.  It ended up working out though we ended up going to a different part of the city for supper at a restaraunt we've been wanting to try for awhile and we both really enjoyed our meals.  So we were both happy...and that was a lot less anxiety producing.  I"m having a real issue with social anxiety lately...but it will pass.  I don't want to start taking the ativan for that if I can help it...I get so used to the benzo's and they lose their effectiveness for me so quick.  Plus during the day it knocks me out...not so much at night.  Go figure.  Although the Oxazepam is a benzo as well and it does still work at night...but not as well as it used to.  Monday was dental assessment and x-rays at the University.  That wasn't so bad and even though there were lots of people around my anxiety was minimal.  The long appointment (approx 3.5 hours) didn't bother me....figured I would've just been sitting at home anyway.  Had to use the credit cards for that appointment...but it's within my rules for credit card use so I don't feel bad about it...it was $50.  What I feel bad about is that the work they are going to have to do next appointment is going to cost approx $300 give or take some....and this is the cheap dentist.  LOL.  That's going to be a huge ouchie on the credit card since I likely won't be able to pay much of that in cash.  But the work needs to be done...before it gets worse and costs more money.  I don't mind that it's students working on my teeth...they are very thourough and are supervised...so they haven't gotten the cocky know-it-all attitude that some professionals (dentists, doctors, managers, etc) sometimes get.  You just have to be willing to spend a good chunk of your day there. Anyway...all I did today was that and I came home exhausted.  I just can't seem to get any energy...doesn't matter what I do.  But I can't complain...it could be worse.  Later today is an appointment with a naturopathic doctor.  Maybe she will have some insight.  And on that note I need to go to bed.  I guess this was a bit of a long entry.