So turned around now...I didn't fall asleep until noon today....and of course that just means I slept in later...so I didn't wake up until after 7pm. I really need some human interaction soon. I don't know anymore if I'm coming or going or what the heck I'm doing. So many times I've picked up the blade to cut. And so far thankfully I've been able to put it down again unused. I feel like it's only a matter of time before the devil wins this round. I just can't fight it anymore. Trying to give it up to God....but just doesn't seem to be working for me all that well. Please if you pray...try to remember to keep me in your prayers. I can't handle much more of the isolation and heaviness that I feel.