Well I tried to write an entry yesterday but it got erased before I had a chance to save it.   Didn't do a whole lot yesterday.  Had an appointment with my occupational therapist and that went well.  We are going to do some career options quizzes and see what kind of results come up.  Didn't do much the rest of the day, just came home and relaxed in my cool room and put aloe on my rash.  Still got the rash...feels prickly like I got needles in my shirt or something.  But it is getting better. Had a nap before logging into Second Life for the teaching on forgiveness.  I didn't think at first I was getting anything out of it, until when I stated forgiveness doesn't just mean forgiving others but forgiving ourselves.  No one heard the first time but Satan sure starting putting the attacks on me. Within minutes I was feeling horrible, and intense urges to cut.  My memory was being flooded with images of my past and things I've been through and was feeling really horrible.  Was thinking how doctors and nurses have told me in the past I shouldn't have lived through the things I've done and then being filled with thoughts that I shouldn't be living.  This all happened in a matter of minutes.  I asked the group in SL to pray but left it unspoken.  This time it wasn't enough, I was feeling heavier and heavier so I sent a private message to the pastor and told him.  He asked me to come back into the group and get prayer.  Only  2 in the group knew what was going on, the rest just knew I was being attacked.  So everyone prayed and the intensity finally started to ease off.  At the start of it I actually had the blade in my hand getting ready to give in and cut....but with God's help I didn't.  It made me realize that sometimes just us as an individual calling on God isn't enough.  We sometimes need to reach out to others who are Christians and who can pray right there in that moment as well.  I'm so thankful I was able to reach out enough.  I'm so thankful. Sleep is a bit backwards again from being sick lately.  And then napping yesterday before logging into SL and all the emotions yesterday/last night.  So I'm going to have to try to move things back on track.   Oh, I just found out there are some really bad forest fires around here in real life.   2 of them are burning out of control right now and they are evacuating homes.  Still probably 30+ minute drive from where I am though.  My area isn't at risk at all right now, nor is any of my family.  Hopefully it'll stay that way.