Gonna try to sleep soon....it is 4am afterall.  But I didn't wake up until 4:30pm yesterday.  So off track now it's not funny. Feeling a bit stunned, and overwhelmed, and helpless with all the bad news going on around me lately.  I'm not sure what I've written and what I haven't.  I know I mentioned the fishermen....and that is the worst news of it all.  But it just seems this week is almost completely been bad news. The son of my sisters coworker killed himself (think I mentioned that)...another one of my cousins I just found out has cancer, another sad story with a happy ending is that my nephews friend (who is 17) was stabbed by his girlfriend.  She missed the heart by about 1/4 of an inch and he was in critical condition and in a coma but has since recovered and been released from hospital.  It just seems like in a period of a couple days that I'm being bombarded with all this bad stuff.   The worst by far though is the fishermen.  That one really gets to me.  I'm not one that usually questions God but I found myself today doing just that.  I'm not mad at Him or anything like that.  I just can't help but ask why.  What is the purpose of this.  And I admit yes I am even a bit angry.  Not at God but at the situation.  There's so many emotions and I'm not really sure how to process them right now.  It's weird how if it's someone you don't know and you don't have any connection to through others it doesn't affect you as much as it does when there is some sort of connection.  I didn't really know the men....I met Jerry once, maybe twice, but this is definitely affecting me.  My heart aches for the remaining family (mother, 1 son, and 1 daughter), for my cousin Jen, and the rest of the family and the community affected by this. If it had been people that I didn't know and weren't connected to anyone I knew....then yes it still would've been sad and a tragedy, but I tend to process that differently...more as just another sad story on the news. Anyhow...I guess I'm still just stunned.  It's still a bit surreal. On a more positive note...and I may have mentioned this before....everything blurs together....my aunt finished her radiation and is doing well.  And today was my sisters birthday and the family (my parents, both sisters, both bro-in-laws, and my 2 nephews and my oldest nephews girlfriend) were all able to get together for a Bday BBQ.  It was great to be together with them despite the factt most of the conversations revolved around the tragic events lately.