I'm feeling miserable.  I shouldn't complain though since I deserve every bit of misery that comes my way right now.  Just feeling trapped, and kinda hopeless.  LIke I'll never be able to pull myself out of this cycle.  This Boderline Personality Stuff is a curse.  Depression, while awful, at least is safer for me.  I just can't seem to stop the impulses and I'm afraid I'll end up dead before I ever end up living.  I'm stopping my Celexa because then maybe I'll get depressed and be safe again.  I don't know what else to do.  Maybe it would be better if I really was dead.  At least then I'd stop wasting peoples time.