I'm feeling miserable. I shouldn't complain though since I deserve every bit of misery that comes my way right now. Just feeling trapped, and kinda hopeless. LIke I'll never be able to pull myself out of this cycle. This Boderline Personality Stuff is a curse. Depression, while awful, at least is safer for me. I just can't seem to stop the impulses and I'm afraid I'll end up dead before I ever end up living. I'm stopping my Celexa because then maybe I'll get depressed and be safe again. I don't know what else to do. Maybe it would be better if I really was dead. At least then I'd stop wasting peoples time.
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I wish I had the right encouraging words. I\'m in a very similar place right now. But even though I just said to someone I deserve the unhappy situtation I\'m in because I don\'t deserve better, somewhere inside me I know that\'s not true. I deserve happiness and love and joy, AND SO DO YOU.
It\'s easier to deal with life being 1/2-assed depressed though, most of my life is like that when I can \"control\" everything else about my illness... and it\'s still not fun for me or people around me.
Keep working on moving forward, your so awesome for sharing how you feel, good for you.