the only good thing so far about today...and i'm not even convinced it's a good thing because i'm in such a crappy mood, is that i woke up shortly after 12noon.  I think with the mood I'm in I would've rather slept all day.  I really need to give into the cutting urge soon or I'll go mad...so I plan to eat, not because I want to but because I have to take my meds...stupid meds...and then I plan to cut.  Yes...I plan to.  I don't care anymore.  Why fight it?  Why make myself more miserable by fighting it?  Might as well just do it and feel better.  See the chiropractor later and going to my parents tonight....ugghhh.  I'd much rather stay here.  Oh well.  I'll be back here tomorrow anyway.  It stormed all last night...but it's changed over to rain now.  Good old crappy miserable gray rain.  So now it's all slushy and gross out.  Blech.  Just wonderful.  Well, I'll go...because no body really needs to know just how miserable I feel.