I never felt this bad about not being able to see my psychiatrist in a long time.  Years really.  I don't know what to do...I don't think I can wait until next week...but I have no choice.  I've been having such a hard time coping with things and this is just too much.  I was really counting on seeing her today to talk about what has been going on and try to figure out some things....and now...ugghhh...  I dunno what's gonna happen this weekend but I have bad feeling about it.  Maybe this world is better off without me anyway.  I don't want to go to myparents house tonight but I have to.  I have chiropractor appointment today and then promised mom I'd stay over and go to appointment with her tomorrow.  Ugghhh....I don't want to.  Dammit.  Why can't things just go the way they are suppose to.