i'm surprised i'm actually feeling relatively okay...i took some pills that weren't mine but still within a safe range...i researched them first...they should start making me sleepy soon...if not i may take a couple more.  They shouldn't hurt me any.  i put earrings in last night for the event that i didn't take the time to steralize first and now my ear where the piercing is is a bit infected so i keep cleaning it with alcohol.  i feel so strange at the moment...twilight zone like...it's actually kind of cool but i know it's a form of dissociation...i just like this reality better then the real one...at least here i feel calmi stayed out of my room for most of the evening and my roommates cat even came out and slept in the living room while i did my thing.  He likes to hide in his mommy's room when shes not around so it was a treat.  We may do some Christmas decorating tomorrow...we'll see.   Well...i don't have much to say really...it's all a bunch of random and pointless babble...what will it matter 10 years from now how i was feeling on December 8, 2007 at 2:45am...seriously.  It won't matter one bit.  That makes me wonder why any of us bothers to journal at all.  Will it really make a difference?  Is it helpful...really?  Hmmm...I dunno...but something keeps me doing it just the same.