why do people say one thing and do another...i sent a message to one of my friends before i went to sleep (but after i was cutting) and she left me a message back saying we could get together today. But when i woke up I tried calling and i've also left a message online and called again just recedntly and never heard anything. Just goes to show that i don't deserve to have friends...i do deserve to be hurting... okay, i realize that's really negative and i'm sorry about that...this is just how i am feeling right now...apparetnly though since i have BPD that will change in 5 minutes...*hmpf*...yeh rightI did here from my psychiatrist and that helped a bit though...she wants to see me next week instead of waiting until the following week so i will see both her and my counselor next week. I thnk that's a good thing considering how close to the holidays its getting and i really do want the holidays to go well. She is going to look into the plaquenil and see if that might be contributing to the moods at all.i have a problem and i don't know what i can do about it..i'm out of money and almost out of food...i don't get paid again the very end of the month. I guess i'm really going to have to seriously look into going to the food bank...it just takes so much energy that i don't have. *shrugs* I dunno.
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Boy I really understand the lack of energy thing, I have absolutely none. My legs don\'t wan\'t to work and just answering the phone takes more energy than I have. This PT and OT is tiring me out more, and somehow I have to drive an hour next week to go to the doctors...they need to give me back my prednisone, all the inflammation in my body has got me dragging, has given me a cold and dislocated my knee!
Gee, sorry that felt too good to unload, again I apologize...but thanks for listening.
Nan
Friends can be unreliable, but it doesn\'t mean they don\'t care...everybody has a reason for doing or saying what they do - some are more genuine than others, but it\'s a reflection of your friend and not of you...having said that, I completely get the thought process...it\'s so much easier to blame oneself than see any fault in one\'s friends, and I think to some degree, it\'s easy to try and look for confirmation of a negative view of oneself.
*HUGS* Hang in there...