I'm tired of plain ol' black and white type so I decided today I'd spice it up a bit.My heart feels normal today.  I think I'm going to have to keep a close eye on it over the next few months. I saw my Rheumatologist today.  She has decided to start me on Plaquenel (spelling?).  She said she can't give a definitive diagnosis at this point of whether I have lupus or not.  She said I have strong indicators with my blood work and the other questionable symptoms which may be that or more connected with my moods (depression and borderline personalitiy).  She's decided though at this point that I have enough symptoms to go ahead with treatment to see if that helps the blodwork improve.  If in 3-6 months there is an improvement then likely it is lupus or a lupus-like condition.  If not then we're back to square one.  At least that was my understanding.  She also said that if I do have lupus that this medication should prevent it from affecting my kidneys or lungs or other organs.  *shrugs*  I hope this is the right treatment at this point.  I'm tired of not knowing so it would be nice if this helps things to improve. The next problem is trying to get used to the dosing schedule.  It's a bit odd because one day I have to take 2 pills a day (one morning, one night), the next day I can only take one, then the following day I have to take 2 again and then 1 and then 2 and so on.  I hope I don't get too mixed up.  I think I will have to get a medication organizer to help me keep track of doses. She also said I will now have to see my eye specialist every 6 months because of this medication.  Thankfully it will be covered because it's for medical reasons.  I guess certain medications have special approval for things like that.  My work insurance only covers eye exams once every 2 years and I just had it done about 1 month ago and it would cost around $90 each time so there wouldn't be anyway I could pay that every 6 months.Onto other things, I have my last Alpha course meeting tonight.  I can't believe I made it through the whole 10 weeks (or was it 11).  At the beginning I was just setting out to make it to half the classes and I have made every single one.  That's a big accomplishment for me.  When I took this course before I missed most of it. I'm sitting here drinking a chocolate caramel chai tea...or at least I think that was what it was called.  It's not too bad...better then I thought but not as good as the ones I have out at my parents church.  Their church has a cafe and they make the best chai tea's.  I'm so sleepy right now I just want to lie down and sleep but I have to leave in less then 1 hour for Alpha and I'm afraid if I lay down that will just make me groggier then I am now.  What is a tired girl to do!?  LOL.  Well, I'm really running out of things to say at this point.  I know I could probably write forever but then it would be kind of meaningless and boring.  It probably is a bit meaningless and boring as it is, haha.  But it's my journal right.  I really like that I can keep track of generally how I've been feeling each day with this smily faces.  I might make a list sometime and show it to my psychiatrist or counsellor.  We'll see.  Anyhow, off I go for now.  I'm sure I'll be back later.