I guess I'm okay right now.  I didn't end up cutting even though I still feel a little like it...but not enough to actually do it.  I took a Loxapine and it did make me tired enough to sleep before I gave in.  Cancelled my massage appointment...I'll reschedule that soon.Woke up today and first though was the kittens.  I went outside this morning and there they were.  I actually seem to be winning the trust of the mother cat but the kitten is proving more difficult.  Everytime the kitten comes close the mother goes back to it and pushes it back.  The mom was puring and rubing against me...and basically starving for human affection.  The kitten was curious and came near but not near enough for me to touch...mommy wouldn't allow that.  I called the vet near here to see if they had suggestions.  They said to call around to see if any place has room for them or call the SPCA but that they are probably full.  I don't know what to do...I hate to see them out there as the weather gets colder.  I wish I had my own place that i could bring them in...but I rent a room.  My mom might bring me a cat carrier so that if I do get them and do find a place that can take them then I will have something that I could take them in.  For now I have a box with a towel in it just in case.  Well, that's about it...trying to keep my mind off of feeling miserable.  The cats are really the only thing helping me be okay at the moment.