Just got outta the shower and it's getting very close to the time I have to leave for the appointment.  It's 12:15pm right now and my anxiety is going through the rough.  I just want to hide and not deal with this...but at the same time i want to know what she is going to tell me.  I should be getting ready (dry my hair) but I just need something to calm my nerves for a minute or two and sometimes writing helps so I came here.I don't really know what to write though that I haven't already.  I'm just freaking out.  Oddly enough my urges are very very low even though I feel like crap....and like hiding.  I don't feel like cutting much at all at the moment.  I guess because I know I need to deal with this regardless and I know cutting won't help me deal.  I feel horrible but that doesn't mean I have to cut.  But I still really really wish this was over with.  I hope tonight I'll be able to relax.  I really need to try to get to at least the video and discussion part of Alpha.  This weeks topic is about why and how to pray.  I think I could really use this session.  I have such a hard time with praying sometimes.  ***HUGS*** all my DS friends.  I need hugs and support and the best way to get them is to give them.  Unfortuanetly at the moment I don't have time to send them individually or else I'd miss my appointment.