ow ow ow owie ouchie ow sorry...i'm just frustrated and annoyed....and in pain...I've spent the last few nights at my parents, longer then I was planning which was find except for the pain.  We got along good and even went through old toys from my childhood.  I came across my beloved Jessie doll which is about the size of a 1-2 year old.  She is so adorable.  I picked her up and almost cried.  How pathetic is that.  I just love that doll... I would get rid of all my old toys...any of them...except for her.Anyway, this pain...it's not my throat anymore.  It's my chest and shoulder.  First when it started when my throat was sore it was very mild and I tried to convince myself I was imagining it.  Then it got worse and I was going to mention it to my doctor on Wednesday but was trying to convince myself I just slept on it funny and it would feel better in a day or two so I didn't tell her.  I got distracted by the blood work results anyway.Well, it is getting worse and keeping me awake and waking me up.  I've been awake since before 6am this morning because it hurt so bad.  I saw my psychiatrist today and mentioned it and she wanted me to get it looked at so I have an appointment with a duty doctor at my doctor's clinic.  I am so sick of seeing doctors and feeling like I'm falling apart.  I'm only 25, I'm suppose to be happy and healthy.I have been using ibuprofen to take the edge off the pain but that's barely helping.  I was up to the maximum daily dose at 10am this morning...so I talked to a pharmasist and they said I can alternate ibuprofen and tylenol and that I should see a doctor.  I said I would see a doctor, I just need something to ease the pain in the meantime.  Also, my family doctor called me today and told me she spoke with the Hematologist about the latest bloodwork.  He said his hope is that the Rheumatologist that I see on Monday will start me immediately on treatment for my low WBC's.  Either way I was given the Hematologists private number to call Monday after my appointment to update him.  If she doesn't start treatment likely he will. So one thing heals (my throat) and 3 things are falling apart.  My bloodwork, my chest pain, and my mental health.  It's a never ending battle and I can't handle much more...but I'm trying. My Celexa was increased again.  I'm now taking 40mg starting tomorrow.  She said she'll keep me on it for awhile yet...that it can be increased to 60 if needed.  Hopefully that'll help settle some of the emotions down a bit.  I can see the hospital being an option soon and I'm hoping at all costs to avoid that.  Well, my appointment is in 30 minutes with the duty doctor.  Some doctor I've never met but I am scared of.  I don't want to have to explain everything.  If this doesn't work then I'll likely be in the ER before the end of the weekend.   Please keep me in prayer.