I don't want to deal with life anymore.  I'm sooooo sick of there always being something wrong with me.   I woke up in a shitty mood, I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.  But I had an appointment with my family doctor.  I was scheduled for a pap but decided not to do that right now.  First thing the doctor tells me when she comes in the room is how screwed up my bloodwork is.The white blood cells are back almost to their lowest that they have been.  The neutrophils, type of white blood cell, are really low now too.  She said she needs to speak to the Hematologist ASAP and it's a good thing that I'm seeing the Rheumatologist on Monday.  It's looking like I will need to start treatment (likely steroids) very soon.  The only good thing about that is that explains why my throat was sore for so long and why it was so severe.  It was just a viral infection.  It should've only lasted a few days.I don't want to f*cken deal with this.  I can't deal with this.