that bad feeling is back...that one where something bad is going to happen....keep seeing the words break, gonna break....going through my head...how do i make it stophad good lunch with sister and family...time out was good...aside from feeling physically unwellmy psychiatrist never called back...waited all day...my only phone is my cell phone and there wasn't one call on it all day...i don't think she cares if anything happenstrying to calm down and just thinking of maybe having short nap...have to watch season premier of ER and Gray's Anatomy.  Missing family gathering tonight...just not feeling well physically...now mentally i feel like crap too....the urges are in full swing right now...just want to give in...want to not be here