Still feeling like absolute crap but did get a load of laundry in. Also called my psychiatrist and was just planning to leave a message to update her (she's been on vacation past 3 weeks) but she answered which caught me off guard. I told her the stuff that's going on and she scheduled me in a day earlier (the earliest opening) so I see her on Thursday now instead of Friday. Still seems like a long time but it is a little better I guess. They don't seem like much but these are the things that have been getting to me. 1) Dad's surgery and spending so much time at my parents (not so much stressed about them as just readjusting), 2) Job shadowing shift coming up on Saturday (major stressor...damn anticipatory stress), 3) being female, time of the month, pms (i know it will pass but it still isn't very nice), 4) sleep (resolving with the help of the Loxapine, which according to my Hematologist I shouldn't be taking but with the way my moods are the sleep is most important)Well, I better go try attempt #2 at getting breakfast. Hopefully this time I'll actually get something made before breaking down again. I'm so damn teary the last few days it's driving me nuts. Can't do anything when can't see through the tears.
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Sweetheart, I know this is so hard for you. I\'m sorry you feel so miserable! I\'m telling you if this job thing is too much stress is not worth it! Believe me I\'ve been down that road and it\'s not worth it. thursday is just two days away. I know that seems like for forever but you can make it! The teary stuff is just hormones from being on your period, it will fade with time, just be patient, I know it sucks... Like I said yesterday let yourself have the emotions, just don\'t let them control you. I wish I could be close so I could come over and hang out with you to distract you and we could do things to keep each other out of trouble. I\'m praying for you. Much much much love!!!!