Yeah I'm still miserable but I got up off my butt and put dinner in the microwave even though I'm not hungry.  I think it's time of the month and stress thinking about the job shadow I have to do on Saturday.  It's got my anxiety completely out of wack.  Those two things combined with my sleep getting a little off and also having a few drinks the other night but still I can't seem to stop the feelings and thoughts.  I hate them, they make me feel worthless.  I feel like pulling away from everyone and anything good.  These are the times when I really struggle with my faith.  I've been listening to all my good Christian music in an attempt to not completely pull away but even that is a bit agitating.  So frustrations with my moods and the things that go along with them.  This completely has me off guard it happened so fast.  Tomorrow I need to force myself to do laundry and then a shower and then maybe out to my sisters.  I told my nephews I'd try and be out this week and I don't want to let them like I usually do.  That's how it's been the last 10 years.  I tell them I'll be there and I end up staying home.  I'm such a horrible aunt.  I gotta stop writting now...getting myself too worked up.  Being worked up and feeling miserable is bad combination.  Feeling miserable without being worked up is bad enough.   *sigh*