i don't think i can keep hanging oni'm losing my mindi don't care all that much anymoreeven tried eating some lidocaine gel tonight but didn't get far with that.  the gel texture is awful and i'm not guaranteed it would do anything anyway...other then maybe numb my burnt tongue.if i had an easy way to do it i'd probably would...i just can't go through another botched attempt...so until i have guarantees there's not a lot of sense trying...and i don't have the energy for anything difficult or complicated...probably gonna regret writing this but it doesn't really matter.that said i'm gonna try and sleep...