I had my appointment this morning with my psychiatrist.  I completely chickened out about the hospital thing...but I see her again Wednesday so if I still feel the need maybe I'll look at it again then.  Started a new medication again.  This time Celexa.  She agreed with me for my reasons on stopping the last one and said that's what she would've probably done anyway which is pretty much what I figured.I ran into a sorta friend.  She worked at the shelter I used to live at and we've kind of kept in touch.  She moved away for awhile but a few months ago we got back in touch and so I hung out with her for the day.  At least with her I don't have to worry about showing how I really feel (although out of habit I sitll hide it), but with her I can talk about it somewhat.  She knew me when I wasn't doing well a few years ago...and she was there for me then.  We've also gone to church a few times together which is kind of cool.Anyway...I'm exhausted...feel icky...walked too much...ate too much....head aches....feel gross.  I think I might take a nap.  I feel like cutting but I'm even too tired for that right now....it seems to be a constant urge now...it's not even an urge really....it's just always there....like breathing....