I may seem crazy Or painfully shy And these scars wouldn't be so hidden If you would just look me in the eye I feel alone here and cold here Though I don't want to die But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside~~ Cut by Plumb I'm not feeling very good today. I took all my melatonin last night to make sure I got a good night sleep. I slept okay through the night but woke up a hell of a lot earlier then I wanted. Oh well...I guess I still got 11 hours of sleep which is more then enough...I just kind of hoped to sleep for much much longer.I'm suppose to call my psychiatrist back but I don't feel like it. She left a message after my last call requesting a call back and saying we needed to have a discussion. I feel better then Wednesday....very calm and numb...but on edge. But at least it isn't like Wednesday and the intensity that I felt then. I just keep cutting whenever I start to feel anything. My roommate is home today...but I think I'd be hiding either way...A bunch of people want me to go out today....I don't want to. I think it's better I stay hiding. I am too edgy and am afraid if I see anyone that I'll say/do something that'll hurt them. I'm really in the mood to pick a fight with someone and that just doesn't go well with most people.
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Sweetie, I wish I could make you feel better, I wish I could take away all your pain and make it all better for you. I know that life is hard and that sometimes you just don\'t want to be apart of it. I\'ve been where you are, I\'ve gotten through it, and I\'ve fallen and gotten through it again and again and again. Hiding is not ok, force yourself to get out, at least make a phone call to a good friend, get a dvd to watch distract yourself from all the bad and let yourself enjoy something positive for a change. I want to help you in anyway I can. I\'m here for you. Much love and prayers. Rachael