I'm so fucken tired of life.  It doesn't really matter anymore anyway.  I don't feel like it's worth the effort to try anymore to get better.  I've decided to stop wasting the dr's time, so I didn't go to my appointment today.  Besides...I didn't feel like waking up and getting out of bed.  I stopped the Effexor that was started 2 weeks ago.  It was making me mad because I am only 25 and shouldn't have to keep such a fucking close eye on my blood pressure.  I've had problems with blood pressure being high in the past and the Effexor was causing it to be high again.  I hate dealing with that.  Now to top it of for no real reason I'm having problems with my heart rate being high.  I feel so fucking old physically and I hate it.  I don't want to bother with this life anymore.  I am so sick and tired of living.  I better stop writing now though since I'm just wasting good space here on this site. 

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deleted_user
deleted_user

Sweet heart, you are not wasting space, you are precious! Please take that to heart, I know it\'s hard to hear! I\'m worried that you stopped your medicine I hope and pray that you at least contact a mental health provider soon because things are most likely going to get a lot worse before they get better, and deep down I know that\'s what you want or you wouldn\'t have reached out and posted on here. I wish you were closer so I could help you, but you are literaly a whole country away... Please don\'t give up on life, because it\'s not giving up on you! We are here for you, at least I am! Please let me help you! e-mail me or message me whenever and I will answer you back as soon as possible! I want to help you get through this dark and lonely time. Much love and prayers... Rachael provbs3_5n6@yahoo.com