I'm so tired.  I am soon going to try and sleep for a bit.  Just got back from my doctor's appointment.  She thinks this sore throat is another viral infection.  I seem to get them every 2-4 weeks.  She says it is likely because of my low white blood cell count.  The low count was discovered back in Feb 2006 and has been low ever since.  It has been stable though.  I don't understand why I'm getting so many viral infections NOW though.  I used to work in an Emergency Room and I never seemed to have problems then with infections.  It doesn't really make sense as I'm not around many people at all now.  I feel really depressed right now and am just trying so hard not to break down.  My doctor reminded me that I have a protocol that I can always go into hospital short stay if my moods are low but I don't want to do that.  I don't see what is any different there from being home since currently I'm refusing medication.  At least if I'm home I can be online...places like here on DS.  I see my psychiatrist next week...although I dont' even know what the point of those appointments are anymore either. I gotta go for now...tears make it hard to type and I think I need to try and sleep.