There is a good amount of pesimism associated with this, I just put it in the back ground.  I know from experience that you get a better responce from people when you are nice to them.  Kill them with kindness, it is an old saying that I have learned fron the restaurant industry.  You can always remember in the back of your mind that this has happened to you, but it is not the fault of anyone around you.  If you have to, you can always play the "I have MS card", but I think of that as a last resort.  I have a brother who has been in a wheelchair his entire life, his situation is aparent, mine is not.  The cane I am walking with is a good indication to them.