I spent the day with my sons and was so very happy until I kept getting signs from Jeff. It really dragged me down. What the hell is wrong with me? It should have been a happy day. Am I still capable of a happy day? First there were UofA As everywhere I looked, then it was some guy in a Houston Astro's shirt. There's a story there but I don't have the energy tonight. Maybe tomorrow. We are no longer allowed to use the internet at work so...that's why they call it a job.
Replies
What are the answers???? Geez, Colleen, I just don\'t know. Signs make us happy, and then signs make us sad because why in the hell should we have to be looking for signs! Happy times with family members make us happy, and then I think the being happy can make us sad because we somehow, somewhere deep inside have still not given ourselves full permission to be happy. All I know is \"I\" do better when I \"set my mind to it and demand myself to do it\". I don\'t think I\'m avoiding the pain, but others may not agree. Hope the loss of internet time at work will not prevent you from keeping in touch. Love ya bunches and boodles, Teri
It is like we have to be two people in one! One that tries to enjoy life and one that is so sorrowful that our child is gone. And then we add emotions in on top of that and we are a mess...at least somedays. I hope tomorrow is better for you...love and hugs...Karen
Reminders are certainly painful experiences. It is so very hard to put on a happy face when our heart is just not into it. I hope you can have happy memories of spending the day with your other sons. Hugs, Belinda
Just remember the positives...you had a great day with your boys and I know there will always be the void, but Jeff is always with you in spirit. Yes, you are capable of having a happy day...many happy days. Hoping tomorrow is better. Love to you. Robin