Tomorrow I will spend with my friend Terry, shopping for things she will need after surgery. They told her to buy some sports bras. This I do not understand. I can't wait to spend time with her but I'm afraid at the same time. I'm afraid I will cry too much and bring her down.  I am frightened. I don't want to lose my best friend. Why all of a sudden are so many people getting breast cancer? I feel like such a shallow person because Terry is the one with cancer and all I keep thinking is Oh my God, what will I do if she...I need her. She is part of me. She held my hair back when I had morning sickness with Jeff 28 years ago. I met her 31 years ago. I remember the first time I saw her. She was tall and skinny and skating around our cul-de-sac on roller skates that made her look like a giant. She had braces on her teeth and a horribly large headgear that she had to wear 24-7. We called her the girl with the mouth bra. Terry had just lost her mother a few months before and was sent to live with her dad and his wife and her 2 brothers who did not like her very much. Her predicament made me very sad for her but she never seemed very sad for herself. Terry's parents did not like me much because I smoked and hung around too many boys. She was not allowed to be friends with me. We has to sneak around to be friends even at school because her brothers would tell on her. When I was 15 and pregnant it was her mom that I went to for advice about what to do. She was the only nurse I knew. She took Terry and I out for Mexican food that gave me the worst heartburn of my life. For some reason, for the first time in three years Terry and I were not only allowed to be friends but her step mother pushed her to be friends with me. I never did understand that. To be continued...