This picture is me & Jeff over 25 years ago. We were so beautiful! I weigh double that now and Jeff is upstairs in an urn. What the hell happened?   Today is the 21st. I hate every 21st now. They didn't used to bother me but ever since then I would like to just sedate myself and sleep through it. What makes it even worse is the fact that today is Thursday. Thursday is the busiest day at work.  The most stressful. Oh well. Maybe I'll get too busy to even think about the day that I lost my son. No I didn't loose him. He was right in front of my eyes. Jeffy, I miss you so much. Please come back.