I feel as if I'm going crazy. I cannot control my emotions.The loss of Monica has become overwhelming. I still have the Happy Mother's Day balloon that she gave me a year and a half ago. The air never went out of it so I will not get rid of it. I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that she's with Jeffrey now and they are not lonely but just like the rest of those sweet-eez, it doesn't really work to make me feel better, it merely gives you something to say. Kind of like busy work, you know? Blah, blah, blah.   The funeral is on Tuesday, Dad's surgery is on Monday. I'm quite certain that I'll be off my rocker by Wednesday.