I'm still here. Still alive. Working a lot. All of a sudden my computer but DS in Bulk and I deleted a whole bunch of you. I'm sorry. I still don't like being the mom of a son who has passed. Every day I hope that God will see fit to take me soon. I'm certain that there still must be some fun in this life for me to have but I can't find it yet. I am so completely sad. I cry eery day still. When will it stop? I can't even enjoy the two sons I have left. What's wrong with me?
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nothing, it is normal... I am holding you in my heart right now and I am so sorry for the loss of your son... may he hold you always in your heart as you lean into what life you have right now. May you find peace in the empty places and rest to your soul... I too wished it was all over, so in that I share your heart. Don\'t know how to find life beyond this but I do believe we will find it, together as we share this process... I am honored to know you and so sorry you are in such pain... I am sending you warm hugs and love from across the miles... thinking of you and praying for peace and hope once again... much love xoxoxo Rene\'
nothing is wrong with you , i cannot enjoy my other sons either, if anything, being with them now hurts more for some reason. go figure. heres a hug from me, for now. i know. love marianne
Colleen, I feel the same way. I hate this. But I do know that I need to be here for Matt has he would not be able to handle anything else yet. So for him, I hold on. We all walk together on this terrible journey, no one left behind. I will walk with you and if you stumble, I will wait. Lots of hugs, Jake\'s mom, kathy
I am totally there too Colleen. I want God to take me everyday. I seem to be ok at first then about 2 hours after i am up i want to just run away. I will be here for you and we will walk this road together. Love
Dawn
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just grieving. How long, can\'t say, not much help. We all walk our own walk, some are long and bumpy and some are short, praying yours is short. Love and hugs Cathy
I was so wrapped up in my own pain that in April my son sent me a letter just trying to make me feel better... and it did... but a part of it made me so sad... He said he knew I had lost my whole world when Cara died... and I was so hurt because I was hurt for my son... I love him so much... no more no less than I loved Cara... I don\'t know how to measure love... its just there and it fills your soul... and when you love your child there\'s nothing to compare it to... one child or twelve you love them with all your heart.... I\'m honestly glad John wrote that letter because I know he wasn\'t trying to make me feel guilty but it did make me look at what message I wanted him to get... and so as I told him... no I didn\'t lose my whole world... but Cara\'s death had affected my whole world and it was taking me some time to deal with it... but I loved him and always had and always would just as I loved his sister... always had... and always wil... Its so hard to deal with each day... all the little things that will slap you down... you\'ve got great friends here and we all want to help you just as you\'re helping us...
You know thinking about what we\'re dealing with... reminds me of that song by Marty Robbins... You Gave Me A Mountain..... do you remember it... something about, this time Lord you gave me a mountain... a mountain that I may never climb... it isn\'t a hill any longer.... You gave me a mountain this time... It surely feels like that so often... I do think we\'ll climb this mountain... with the love of our families and our friends... the memories and love for those loved ones who have crossed over... and with our friends here... Hang on... the mountain\'s steep... we\'ll just keep pulling together.... Hugs Elissa
i dont like the new life either...but for some reason we must stay!!!...i dont know..i cry everyday also..i miss my son so much and i know all of us mothers do...but we have to hold on and help each other...walking beside u always...diana