The stangest thing happened last night. I was laying in bed waiting for the ativan to kick in so that I could go to sleep because, you know, I can't sleep without it anymore. I had been having chest pain again. Not bad, just some. All of a sudden my mind went to Jeff, just as it always does when not actively thinking about anything else, when I felt some force, some thing, pass swiftly through me. As it went through it took away the pain but it left me with severe grief. All of a sudden I was bawling my eyes out uncontrollably. That's all I have to say about that.   The cable guy was out this morning. Can you believe that so many people were stealing cable here that the cable company came out and cut all of the lines and just cut mine as well? I pay my bills. Do you know that they think I'm going to pay for the days that it was out? NO.