Good-Bye

Well, here I am, honey.  On June 18, as our marriage vows foretold, "Death DID Us Part", and you went away to live with God.  You could not say good-bye with your words, but you said good-bye all the same.  That's not so easy for me, the one that's left behind.  Saying good-bye means letting go, and 22 years of my life is hard to let go of.
In these short, yet oh so long, three months since you left, I have been blessed with all the time in the world to consider my past, my today, and my future.  Many others trapped in their grief are not as fortunate.  They have jobs, responsibilities, and complicated lives they must live.  I have nothing, I am very lucky.
Along the lines of the spirit of ECCL. 3:17, I have learned that to every thing there is also a "good" that comes from a "bad", and the "badness" of your death brought on the "goodness" of my bonding with God, a miracle that has blessed me each and every day.
God Himself tapped me on my shoulder and told me that taking you was his way of getting my attention, for there was just no other way.  I awake every morning before sunrise, and go out in the back yard, and watch His sun rise and we visit.  Sometimes for a moment, sometimes for minutes.  But we talk.  I'm on my knees before Him, Barbara, and He is the "driver of the bus" that is my life.  God knows where He's going, and since I have no clue, and I am going with Him, I'm letting Him have control.  And I am at a peace I've never known before.
God wants for me to be happy in the years or days that I have left before He calls me to Heaven.  And I know that I cannot be happy until I can say good-bye to you.  While I will always love you, I cannot allow your memory and the memory of our life together to consume me.  That would be unfair to God and to me.  You will forever be in my heart, and since I know that you are at peace walking with Him in Heaven, let this be our good-bye.
Honey, this is not a sad day.  It is a joyous day.  I remember the Friday nights, staying up late and "howling" together as we listened to our favorite music.  I left our "Howling Coyote" at our house when I moved away.  While we will never howl together again, the day will come when this lone wolf will howl again.  I came upon this video clip of your favorite group, Three Dog Night..................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2wutEzjy_E&feature=related
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

It is hard to let go. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
deleted_user
deleted_user

While the works of God can be a great big mystery to us, He sees things from an eternal standpoint.

The sooner we can grasp that eternal standpoint, the closer we will come to our mentality falling into line with His.

How many people eat their spiritual \"seed corn\"?

Don\'t do it. Reinvest your life into the lives of others. There\'s a harvest time coming. You\'ll be home soon enough...work, for the night is coming, when man\'s work is o\'er.

Your time is precious because you are precious!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey, Joe...that must have been hard for you to do. Goodbye is a personal thing. I can\'t get to that point. We never said \"\'till death....\" I think we must have known the possibilities when Todd and I married and adjusted the vows accordingly. I give you blessings on your journey and I wish you safe home. Kaaren
OnMyOwn2010
OnMyOwn2010

Good-byes are never easy, letting go is not something we humans do well...
It is only with God\'s help that we learn how to do it....you are learning, Joe...and the lessons aren\'t always easy.... Here\'s a hug.... ~E~
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think you have been fortunate to realize the importance of saying goodbye and letting go earlier on that some of us. It is the hardest thing in the world to do when our hearts cry out with desire to be back where we once were.......safe and happy in our little \"once upon a time\" worlds. For me the goodbye and letting go is an acceptance that to live again I must move on. I take Jim with me, always in my heart, but open to the joy and possibilites that life may offer until it my time to be again with my beloved on the other side. Blessings to you on your journey.
Hugs, Dianne
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey Joe, Just dropped into DS while I am in Portugal for two weeks building a house for a poor family in rural Vila Verde. It was beautiful to read your journal - you are such an encouragement! To learn of how God is leading you on this path through the valley of the shadow of death. Saying goodbye to your darling is the hardest thing to face; it means you have accepted her passing, her absence, and her death as an earthly finality. But for us of faith, the reality of meeting again on heaven\'s shore is a wondrous comfort and brings a depth to this experience. Bless you in your walk and testimony! Keep posting please! John
deleted_user
deleted_user

I really believe the ones we loved & lost want us to smile and have good lives.As sure as I believe in God,I see them in no pain,smiling & peaceful.
Joely
Joely

A lovely \'goodbye\', a very hard thing to do. Leave it up to you to write a great post and then post a youtube song with a funny video. Thanks, Joe. You rock!

Hugs, Joely
inmemoryofhattie
inmemoryofhattie

takes a lot of courage and a lot of faith to do what you did...and I hope for you that an abundant life filled to the brim with good ad happy living fills up the hole in your heart so that you carry good memories into a full life....
deleted_user
deleted_user

A beaiutiful goodbye. I have read that there may be many goodbye letters. The first, if not the last, must be the hardest. Thanks for sharing . Hug, Donna