Good-Bye
Well, here I am, honey. On June 18, as our marriage vows foretold, "Death DID Us Part", and you went away to live with God. You could not say good-bye with your words, but you said good-bye all the same. That's not so easy for me, the one that's left behind. Saying good-bye means letting go, and 22 years of my life is hard to let go of.
In these short, yet oh so long, three months since you left, I have been blessed with all the time in the world to consider my past, my today, and my future. Many others trapped in their grief are not as fortunate. They have jobs, responsibilities, and complicated lives they must live. I have nothing, I am very lucky.
Along the lines of the spirit of ECCL. 3:17, I have learned that to every thing there is also a "good" that comes from a "bad", and the "badness" of your death brought on the "goodness" of my bonding with God, a miracle that has blessed me each and every day.
God Himself tapped me on my shoulder and told me that taking you was his way of getting my attention, for there was just no other way. I awake every morning before sunrise, and go out in the back yard, and watch His sun rise and we visit. Sometimes for a moment, sometimes for minutes. But we talk. I'm on my knees before Him, Barbara, and He is the "driver of the bus" that is my life. God knows where He's going, and since I have no clue, and I am going with Him, I'm letting Him have control. And I am at a peace I've never known before.
God wants for me to be happy in the years or days that I have left before He calls me to Heaven. And I know that I cannot be happy until I can say good-bye to you. While I will always love you, I cannot allow your memory and the memory of our life together to consume me. That would be unfair to God and to me. You will forever be in my heart, and since I know that you are at peace walking with Him in Heaven, let this be our good-bye.
Honey, this is not a sad day. It is a joyous day. I remember the Friday nights, staying up late and "howling" together as we listened to our favorite music. I left our "Howling Coyote" at our house when I moved away. While we will never howl together again, the day will come when this lone wolf will howl again. I came upon this video clip of your favorite group, Three Dog Night..................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2wutEzjy_E&feature=related
In these short, yet oh so long, three months since you left, I have been blessed with all the time in the world to consider my past, my today, and my future. Many others trapped in their grief are not as fortunate. They have jobs, responsibilities, and complicated lives they must live. I have nothing, I am very lucky.
Along the lines of the spirit of ECCL. 3:17, I have learned that to every thing there is also a "good" that comes from a "bad", and the "badness" of your death brought on the "goodness" of my bonding with God, a miracle that has blessed me each and every day.
God Himself tapped me on my shoulder and told me that taking you was his way of getting my attention, for there was just no other way. I awake every morning before sunrise, and go out in the back yard, and watch His sun rise and we visit. Sometimes for a moment, sometimes for minutes. But we talk. I'm on my knees before Him, Barbara, and He is the "driver of the bus" that is my life. God knows where He's going, and since I have no clue, and I am going with Him, I'm letting Him have control. And I am at a peace I've never known before.
God wants for me to be happy in the years or days that I have left before He calls me to Heaven. And I know that I cannot be happy until I can say good-bye to you. While I will always love you, I cannot allow your memory and the memory of our life together to consume me. That would be unfair to God and to me. You will forever be in my heart, and since I know that you are at peace walking with Him in Heaven, let this be our good-bye.
Honey, this is not a sad day. It is a joyous day. I remember the Friday nights, staying up late and "howling" together as we listened to our favorite music. I left our "Howling Coyote" at our house when I moved away. While we will never howl together again, the day will come when this lone wolf will howl again. I came upon this video clip of your favorite group, Three Dog Night..................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2wutEzjy_E&feature=related
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