Definitely time for an update on what has been happening.I am trying to be done with isolation and begin to reach out again.  I need to do it even if it is sometimes hard for me.  I finally was able to take his car off the road and the Mission of Deeds came and picked up all the old furniture for donating to charity.  The monthly pension started and I funded a retirement account for me.  I am making progress on the steps I have been taken and that helps.I am starting to live and enjoy my faith again and it is holding me steady.  It has always been important to me and I didn't realize how much I missed being able to express that and have in my life.  It is filling a place that has felt dark to me for a long time now.His mother and the lawyer are still hounding me and I am ignoring them.  I blocked the email addresses and am not accepting certified mail.  If they had a legal right to pursue me, I would be in court by now.  I am not stupid enough to fall for all of that and if it does come to court I would be happy to stand in front of a judge and explain the tactics of the lawyer that has been going on.  I have no fear of them, I have faith that I will be cared for as I continue to do the right things.My son is away at camp for a few weeks and the girls go away with my parents for a few days next week.  It is helping me to regain perspective on me to have less stress and more time for myself.  I have needed that for a long time now.It is time for me to let it all go as much as I can and focus on the here and now, the present.  It is the ony one that I have.I read this in a book today and it made so much sense to me:We are aware of where we came from and where we are going, but we must not live in the past because our past is not the guide to our future.  Our future looks radically different from our past.That makes so much sense to me and I need to keep it in the forefront of my mind as I continue to  walk this road that is my life.  Finding joy and appreciating what I have is the future and pain and loss are in the past.  They are not my future or my present and I don't want them to guide me or my choices.Today I am feeling healthy and as though there is some balance being regained.  I know that each day will be different and have its challenges but the good, healthy, balanced days are making an impact and that is what I have been working towards.  It has taken many small measured steps and as long as the momentum is forward then it is all good.