I feel so angry tonight and I have no patience and I hate that about myself. The exhaustion that settles in at the end of the day is overwhelming.  I can get through about the first five to six hours of my day and then I am literally dragging myself through the rest of it.I am angry at him for not taking care of himself and leaving us all with so much pain and frustration to deal with.Some of my feelings are stemming from having to meet with a financial planner today to figure out how to manage the finances from the insurance money and pension money.  I should be grateful that it was there and instead I am just angry.I hate how this all feels and I hate that I can't all him and tell him how I feel and let him help me fix it.  Even with all of our problems I knew he was there and would always talk to me and know he isn't and I don't like how this feels at all.