TOday
Hi All,
Well I’m struggling. I haven’t written/journaled in a bit and know I need to, But I just can’t find the word for the emotional roller-costar that I find my self on. I am taking your’s and my own advice about getting out and exercising some. I try to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but for this past week I have had the constant feeling of being a failure. I look at my parents who have been married for 56 years. BOY did they set a bad example of all those years loving, working beside each other, eating lunch together almost every day of their working careers . How’s a guy to live up to those standards? (I say this in sarcasm, because I respect them so much). These past couple of weeks I again just wonder about it all, and if I should not continue in the life I have lived for the past 23 years. I turned 50 a few days ago and I looked like an old man in the mirror when I saw myself. I have been a good father to my girls (and grand girls). But they are all gone but one, and she says she is moving out by the end of the month. I guess it will better to be alone with a future than alone with someone who loves me but is not In Love with me (that is a very lonely). I saw the lawyer again this past Monday and he should have me papers ready to file by the end of the week. AM I MAKING A MISTAKE? Probably am no matter which decision I chose. But My good senses tell me the bigger of mistakes would be to continue living in the past. One Foot in front of the other. (((Hugs to everyone))). Thanks !
Well I’m struggling. I haven’t written/journaled in a bit and know I need to, But I just can’t find the word for the emotional roller-costar that I find my self on. I am taking your’s and my own advice about getting out and exercising some. I try to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but for this past week I have had the constant feeling of being a failure. I look at my parents who have been married for 56 years. BOY did they set a bad example of all those years loving, working beside each other, eating lunch together almost every day of their working careers . How’s a guy to live up to those standards? (I say this in sarcasm, because I respect them so much). These past couple of weeks I again just wonder about it all, and if I should not continue in the life I have lived for the past 23 years. I turned 50 a few days ago and I looked like an old man in the mirror when I saw myself. I have been a good father to my girls (and grand girls). But they are all gone but one, and she says she is moving out by the end of the month. I guess it will better to be alone with a future than alone with someone who loves me but is not In Love with me (that is a very lonely). I saw the lawyer again this past Monday and he should have me papers ready to file by the end of the week. AM I MAKING A MISTAKE? Probably am no matter which decision I chose. But My good senses tell me the bigger of mistakes would be to continue living in the past. One Foot in front of the other. (((Hugs to everyone))). Thanks !
Replies
Until you take that single step forward -- into a much brighter future - you are bound to feel down. Once we learn to let go of what we thought we had, we can start moving toward a much better tomorrow. You sound like me - I told myself it wasn\'t all that bad, but it took getting him out of here for me to realize what it was like to be able to BREATHE and move about without fear of criticism or retribution! What a wonderful change NOT to have to walk on eggshells all the time!
Keep your eyes on the horizon, my friend. There\'s no point in looking back. And remember: Forgiveness is when you stop hoping for a better yesterday.
Keep in touch!
Wow Cowgirl said beautifully. Good luck to u. Big hugs!
Happy belated Birthday!!!!! I hope Your steps forward will bring you some peace. But it\'s a hard road that we\'ve all traveled.
Thank You All for you words tonight. And CowgirlKathi, your comment gives me a lot of resolve that I need right now. That is one comment that should be in a book!
WT, you have done all you can to salvage your marriage. you and all of us know that it takes both partners\' commitment and desire to make that happen. it\'s understandable that you feel despair and sadness now. and your parents indeed did set a wonderful example to you, of what love and respect look like in a healthy marriage. this is your template for what you will desire in the future. i don\'t see you being alone forever. not at all. keep moving forward. surround yourself with loving and supportive friends (divorcecare, therapist, guy friends..) and allow yourself to be built up from the inside out. you are a good man and have so much love to give. i see only good things ahead for you. with much respect, PH