I started this as a post to joliander and her request “Do I not know when to take a hint?!”, then I thought is probably is better as my personnel log book entry.
Morning all I just need to throw my perspective in as a male. What I would not give to be able to walk in give my wife a hug without having to ask first. How I dream of having someone who wants to sit next to me on the couch and cuddle in the evenings. To be able to wake up and snuggle a couple of minuets before going to work, or have her want to fall asleep with her head on my shoulder/chest at night. And yes, to have it lead to sex once in awhile (a least once every week or two ). Not to have to sleep on my hands because if I roll over and touch her, she gets up and leaves because I’m Groping! My elbow touched hers in our sleep and I groped! She stretched-out touching my leg and I groped!
 It would be nice to be able to be playful about being a Man & Woman.  To have someone in my life who wants to share the good times and let being together help make the bad times outside of home “not so bad” because Home is So good. A cup half full instead of mentioning the negative of everything, which in turn means that I’m not providing anything good in our life.
 In my current relationship (23years) I am the affectionate one and I thought that due to her childhood I could change that once she saw what a relation ship could be like. My parents still are playful with each other in their 80’s, hers are still married and I have never heard a kind word between them. I was wrong. It has always been me relinquishing to her way. There is no 50/50 here, not even 90/10,
Her way or no way. But I have been there, still hoping, and that hope is almost gone.
 Now thought all the years of rejection, she has finally trained me into the husband she now despises. And I feel empty. I still love her, but I can’t try and be rejected any more.
It is not about the sex, it is about the intimacy and sharing, but if there is intimacy and sharing there should be sex occasionally if physically able. It should not be used as a way to mentally try and control the other.
  I Know a lot of men with the mentality she(joliander) describes, but all men are not that way. But still being a man I can understand where when the woman you love and care for takes you in through sex and intimacy, That Act alone makes you so vulnerable to them and makes all the troubles of the world go away for a time. I will have a good day today, I hope everyone else does too!

Replies

PeaceHarmony
PeaceHarmony

Dear WTconfused,
How heartbreaking to love someone who pushes you away like that. My H of 29 yrs has done the same for years... to the point where I had to move into my own bedroom a no. of years ago. May you seek and find all the wise counsel you need to work this through, even for yourself if she won\'t join you. Press forward.
deleted_user
deleted_user

It\'s the simple things, isn\'t it, that mean so much. I had all that with my STBX. But I wasn\'t enough. He had to have affairs. I can\'t make any sense out of what he has done, so I have stopped trying. I haven\'t had any contact with him in almost a month. It was hard at first, but now I am peaceful. I hope we both find what we want in a relationship some time soon. All the best.
WTconfused
WTconfused

Thank you both for the comments, wishes prayers and words of wisdom. Hearinng back from you brings me a little peace in my troubled heart and mind. Im wishing you both a restful night and a good day tomorrow. One Day At A Time.