ok, this has been a true roller coaster over the past couple of days, my last journal entry was friday.  i attempted to go to work 3 different times, driving the 9 or 10 mile trip there three times.  on the 3rd trip to work, i was growingly anxious as I arrived there.  within one hour of beginning my shift, i had to call my boss yet another time, and tell him i couldn't do it.  i was having one after another panic attack, i dizzally made my way back to my truck, leaving the safe i was in charge of, all my wonderful customers and my two guys that work with me, and said, handle it.  as i got to my truck, my heart started pounding so hard and fast, and the faintness came over me, although, i didn't faint, and then sat in my truck for about 35 minutes trying to come down from it, deep breathing, calling friends, etc, etc, etc..  then my chest started hurting like i had never felt it before, and instead of coldness i usually feel during panic, i was hot and sweaty. my roommate mark was on his way to allow me to carefully follow him home, so within 35 min i was not able to drive yet, and the fact that my chest was hurting now was even worse.  he thought it was fine, took me home, we were there about 35 min, i got in the shower, did two or three min of alternating hot and cold, which often has helped, my heart continued to bounce around up and down in strength, but the pain wouldn't go away, my mom was here, and she was insistant that I go to the ER.  From the ER they forced me to take a nitro glycerin which made me panic more, and then transported me to the Heart Center about 5 miles further down the road by ambulance, taking another xanax just before the ambulance arrived , another one in the ambulance, and then at the heart center, even a 3rd, they ran an ekg, did blood work, kept me over night, watched and monitored, but by midnight, it was finally over. no more chest pain, no more anxiety, etc, while there, i told them of the lexapro and they genuinely made me feel, it would benefit me, so today as i was released, i began the xanax and lexapro 10 mg once per day.  I am still very anxious, my boss is upset, and I have had to take two more xanax's through the day, but I am going to beat this......At least I am trying...................This is where I am at right now, and friends, I really need your support, and I appreciate the hugs and journal comments.......................It's because of you guys that I am feeling somewhat better, I just got to make the crossover, and really feel better now.......When I came home from the hospital they stated that I must have a stress test to be scheduled this week, which is fine.  I worked in the garden although, I felt weak and tired, I pushed myself because this is usually therapeautic for me.....I had antoher panic attack this evening, as I am trying to get a nice warm shower in to wash off these lead marks all over my body from the ekg's...............I took another xanax, and rode it out, however my close ones are still here, so this did help..........Slept about 3 hours and woke up sort of disoriented.........now just stopped in and found myself warmed by your comments and hugs...................thanks for your efforts and help friends..............John