While I was at work today, I am a manager in a check cashing business.  I had a major panic attack.  It came out of the blue, while I was actually feeling quite good.  the part that scares me the most is that I turn ghostly white when I have a panic attack, and then it scares everyone around me, and they start throwing the towel in and want to call an ambulance.  That and the fact that I get numbness in my hand makes me feel like it's a physical thing instead of a behavior thing.  It took me about 15 to 20 minutes to get through the hardest part of this attack,  I haven't had one like this in almost 2 years.  I was trying to deep breath, tell myself, it's only panic, it will go away, and all the coping skills I've learned including Prayer.  Seemed like the more I tried the worse I got, but eventually went home with the ride from a roomate leaving my truck at work.  Then, i couldn't deal with the fact that my boss was upset that I had to leave, and that I ended up leaving a worker there to handle the evening rush, which generally on Friday's needs two people instead of one, and I got a ride back to work.  This all took place around 230 or 300 this afternoon, and by 6 pm I was back at work.  I closed up as I was scheduled and felt good about returning to help my co worker, who incidentally has a birthday tomorrow.  now tonight, I am still slightly groggy feeling from the coming down part of the attack.    I am also feeling some dissassociation.  this sucks!!!!!!  Pardon my language.  Now, my boss knows that I have panic attacks and will most likely count me out as a result on future district manager openings which is what I've been working towards since December.  I know that is negative thinking right?  What should I do?  If I leave it alone, this is what will happen, likely.  If I approach him, he may think I am a weakling....So, I just dunno..... Tomorrow i work from 12 30 to 8 30 mostly by myself.  Hope it goes good.  At least for the moment, i am feeling kind of better and somewhat o.k.  Couldn't bring myself to take the Xanax.  I wouldn't have ended up back at work if I had.  And, then, I'd have the worries of rebound anxiety then.....I am glad I didn't take the Xanax.  Really.