Update!

While as everyone already knows, I just got back home on March 26th, from a three month treatment center, Rosehill in Massena, New York. I knew that if I ever wanted to change my ways, and be able to have a life that I needed more help than just the outpatient treatment I was recieving so I went to the inpatient treatment center which was a 84 day program. I must say that it was the best choice I've ever made, and I've never been happier with any choice I've made in my life. In there I learned alot about many different things, from addictions, to life itself, and all the things in between, I will say that the program wasn't just for your problems but it was for life itself. I was on the rocks about going, being in no way shape or form was I mandated to complete a treatment program, I went on my own, to save my life. Without doing something, anything, I knew I wasn't going to make it to 18 without ending up dead first, and I can proudly say I turned 18 in Rosehill, so I obviously had pushed it right up till the last minute to get help. I can say no one knew the truth about what I was doing and all the problems I really had going on, people were scared for me sure, and they seen bits and pieces of what was going on, but no one ever seen the reality and truth of it, like I did. I went on a downhill sprial that the price I was going to pay was my life, and I went downhill faster than I've ever seen, and I grew up in the self-destuctive lifestyle. I can honestly say that in treatment I became an honest person, and people started to see how bad things had really got. Now that I'm back I've learned alot as well, I don't have that much support, and it's hard being home and back in real life, reality. Then again I also learned how to be healthy, how to cope and deal with things while I was gone, how to follow a routine, and the biggest thing I learned there was how to finally be happy, not the fake happy, but actually be happy, and feel good about myself. This was the best choice for me, and I'm glad I was given this chance, because it's changed my life and changed me so much for the better, and I never want to go back to the dark days I was stuck in before. I enjoy who I am, and I've never been so confident before, I can honestly say for the first time in my life, I love myself. Sure I still have more issue I need to work though, but I'm taking thoses steps, and going to get through this and everything else in my life. Even though I do miss being so self-destructive, I know that it's not worth it, and I know that it's also something I have to work on as well. I need to figure out why I'm so self-destructive and why I feel like I don't deserve anything good in my life, so that's my next goal, and the next step in my recovery. That's all for now though, that's just my update of how things have been, and where I'm going in my life now, which now includes college for my RN as well. While thank you all for the support, I just want you to know I'm also here now if you need anything.