so i am new and i don't really know what I am doing. I am fat and maybe i really don't belong. i have thrown up for years to lose weight and make myself feel better, sort of a stress reliever. I quit throwing up for about a year, gained a lot of weight in the process. a lot of things have changed in my life recently, and i fell out of control. I changed shifts at work, now I feel like I really suck  at my job. my old boss was a really good friend of mine. kind of a second mom. now I am afraid of being on my own. i never get to see her and i feel sad alot. I miss being taken care of i am scared of being an adult.