14 weeks

Finally have a little bit of time to update! I cant believe how time is flying by! Brayden will be 14 weeks old on Thursday and hes up to 18lbs and 27inchs long. I cant believe how much hes changing lately. Hes getting so smart. If you make noises with your mouth he'll mimic you...or atleast try to! LoL. Hes laughing more and talking more. He loves TV....I know, already, LOL, hes just like his dad. Hes definatly an outside baby he loves sitting outside and going for walks. We're going to buy a swing for our porch tonight. We wanted a glider but cant find one anywhere so a swing will have to do. He loves swinging at my moms. We went for a walk lastnight then when we got home he got his bath and we went to bed at about 10 and he slept till 5 this morning!!!! I was so excited. LoL. Hes been doing really good with sleeping he usually only wakes once to eat at night time. Unfortunatly its usually 1 hour before I have to get up for work and then its hard to go back to sleep, but thats ok. Way better than getting up every 2-3 hours. I stopped taking my antidepressant, way to soon and a very bad idea. I havent taken them in a few weeks and I've noticed day by day I get alittle worse, but I thought it would pass., but unfortunatly it hasnt. I've gained about 10lbs since I've had Brayden and its very discouraging and disappointing. I know its because of the antidepressants and the birthcontrol. I also get very discouraged leaving Brayden everyday. I know hes with family and people I trust, but hes my baby. I cry everytime I get in the car after dropping him off. Everyday goes by it gets a little worse. Exspecailly with the stage hes at right now. I want to be the one to raise him, I dont want someone else raising him. I feel left out like these should be my experiences and my memories, Im his mommy. Right now its impossible for me to not work, but my husband is looking for a better job and hopefully in a few years I'll be able to stay home. We'll see! With the way the economy is I'll probably have to work for the rest of my life. I had a difficult time with birth control. I dont know if I told you guys or not but my acne got horrible after I had Brayden with all the hormonal changes....then my hormones being out of wack with the postpartum depression. Well anyways I had to get put on medicine for the ance and it decreses the effectiviness of birth control. Well I also have mthfr which puts me at a higher risk for blood clots. So there were very few options for me with the mthfr Im only supposed to use progestrone only birthcontrol which are few and far between.....theres the iud, the insert in the arm, the shot or the 1 pill. The pill was my only option because the iud and insert cost too much like 400 dollars because my insurance dont cover them. Well when I went to talk to the doctor about my birth control and how the pill will be less effective with the medicine I'm on her opinion was first the iud...and I explained the insurance situation. She explained that with the mthfr as long has I had some levels checked and they were ok I could take any birthcontrol. So she said I either needed to get a really high dose birthcontrol or the shot. I had a bad experiecne with the shot where I had a period for 3 months straigh and then I couldnt get pregnant for 18 months after I stopped taking the shot. She said the high dose birthcontrol still wouldnt be 100% and I would have to us other protection as well. She recommended I get the shot. Well in a hard decision I decided to get the shot. She said I only have to get it this time and can decide in 3 months if I want to get it again. She said 1 time probably wont have the same effect as it did last time with it taking so long to get pregnant its more a prolong exposure thing. So now I have the tough decision on what to do in a few months. I think I've decided I dont want to get the shot again...I just dont want to risk having more problems concieving in the future. So its either take the pills and risk getting pregnant or pay 400 to get the IUD.I just have so much on my mind lately You'll be happy to know I started taking my medicine again. It will take a week or so to get back in my system and hopefully some of this crazyness will go away. My husband said hes rather me be fat and sane then skinny and crazy. LoL. Thanks for listening to my rambling! You guys are the best. Hugs Monica.