I woke up around 3:00AM and couldn't get back to sleep partly because I'm nervous about going to my new doctor this morning, but mostly because my daughter and I had what you would call an argument on the phone yesterday. It always upsets me when this happens. She gets in these moods and won't talk to me and treats me like I'm a total stranger. I knew this was coming because lately she was acting like she was mad about something and it is usally when I mention that I'm sick and feel really bad. I feel so alone and she is my daughter and maybe I mention how I feel too often,but I can't help it because it seems to help when I tell her this for some reason and that is what I mentioned to her, but she said I only talk about myself and that's not true. I mention all the time does she need to talk about anything and I try to be there for her,but it does no good. She said I was trying to bully her into talking to me,but I'm not. I just get so lonely for her because she hardly ever comes over anymore and then when we make plans for her to come over like on the last two holidays, she cancels at the last minute and makes up excuses for some reason not to come over. The last time she was over here to my apartment was back in May right after Mothers Day and we had a cook out which was really great. It's like if I'm well she loves me, and then if I'm sick she doesn't want to be around me. I'm so sick of this all over the years it has just tired me out. Maybe I need someone new in my life if I could just get to feeling better because I don't want to be a burdon to anyone.
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