idk

Shit's going downhill fast. My mom convinced me to go to a fancy private school I didn't even really like which cost more than we could afford. She didn't tell my dad how much we actually owed. I went there and ended up being completely psychotic when exposed to dorm life. I had to come home. I'm really nervous and shy about people so I haven't had jobs to be around a lot of people. My dad found out how much we owe last night  and I was just about to get paid for my computer work so I could buy something at the gun show last weekend. He was so pissed it wasn't even funny. This is my mom's fault for sending me to that school so that she could be all proud about me going to a private school. Anyways, my dad was just about to buy himself a new mustang and now we have to pay off like a 7000 dollar debt. My mom says I need to give all my pay to him and that this is our burden equally when it's her fault. I worked so damn long on this computer I'll get nothing for it. Idk I was feeling heartless yesterday afternoon anyways. I was hoping he'd get drunk and assault me so I could kill him and get away with it. I don't know whether I should just get my money and hand it over or to get it and take off. I have everything I need to survive in the desert. just need a fucking gun